A Place for Facts

Dec 11

There’s a new Xbox Live indie game out that just costs a buck. And it’s made specifically for me! It’s called “Don’t Be Nervous Talking 2 Girls.”  You can make women call the police and they won’t lock you up for your long list of priors.

[Click the pic for Kotaku story]

Dec 10

[video]

Oh? That’s great. I’m glad I “spelt” it right, dumb fucking Twitter bot. I was uncertain of my spelling of “hunky dory” in a tweet over at @aplaceforfacts. And I was wrong. The world hyphenates it. Sooo, thanks for the added idiocy to my life, computer dipshit.

Dec 07

DRY SPELL DEBATE CONCLUSION

6od:

A dry spell is a period of time of which someone wants to have sex but can’t get laid.

By a person CHOOSING to not have sex, it negates the idea of a dry spell. So, JOE, just cause I haven’t had sex in a while BECAUSE I’M NOT A WHORE, doesn’t mean that I’m going through a “dry spell”. More people agree with me, and I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who agrees with you.

bamboozle says: Dry Spell: Defined by a measure of time in which one seeking sexual gratification is unable to locate a source.

writer-a says: A dry spell = wanting but not getting. A farmer who tarps over his crop when it’s pouring and calls it a dry spell would be a lunatic, no?

hugesuccess says: It’s a slump, because not trying to get laid means it isn’t really a problem, right?

mattedits says: Girls don’t go through dry spells, they can get laid whenever they want. Is that too sexist? I never go through dry spells either…*gunshot*

piratekitten says: any turning down of sex negates said dry spell. if there’s an offer, beggers can’t be choosers. i mean, they can, but then it starts all over

ALSO: ninjapants and delbertshoopman both agree with me, so that’s MORE FOR ME, AND NOT ANY FOR YOU.

You’re wrong, Joe. YOU ARE WRONG.

I have shit to say on this subject. I’m not going to read what other people have said thus far because I don’t need to. If there is one thing I can speak authoritatively on, it’s dry spells. Even by Internet standards. So fuck you and your hyperlinks.

This ain’t no damn thing that can be summed in 140 characters. I present the following bullet points:

• Answer honestly. When you find yourself in a dry spell, do you calculate how long you’ve wanted to get laid, or since the last time you got laid? People fall into both categories, of course, but I think the latter group is far better represented than my fellow bloggers would suggest. This is due in part to the Tumblr community somehow thinking it’s cool.
• Dry spells are relative. You can be getting laid and still be in a dry spell. If you’re accustomed to a certain amount of climax in your day-to-day and that benchmark is not being met, I think most non-jealous types would consider the label justifiable. On the other hand, if someone who never gets laid said to you, “I’m in the middle of a bit of a dry spell,” you’d laugh in that person’s face.
• We all have our own appetites. Given. But sexual frustration tends to strike in spurts. [LOL OMIGAWD SRY SRY.] And by your rubric, what’s a dry spell today could be a ovar-acation next week.
• Lastly, men don’t deny themselves for the sake of appearances. And if more women didn’t bother, then this conversation would be rendered completely moot. But the fact of the matter is women do care, which will always muddy the waters. The only time a man can tell a woman what she feels is when he’s on top of her. So leave it up to a woman to ask for a definition and then just accept the one she’s already provided.

Nov 29

I have been watching “The Hills” since 2 p.m. So I’d like to think I have something to do with TV Overmind’s Twitter breakdown.

That’s embarrassing. This is no regular ass dialing we’re seeing here. This is an asspocalypse.

Nov 28

On November 1, 1920, a 19-year-old by the name of Kevin Barry was executed by hanging for ambushing a detachment English soldiers. Three weeks later on the morning of November 21, Michael Collins orchestrated a counter-attack targeting British informants and operatives. The police reacted by storming a hurling match and firing into the stands. The day is still known as Bloody Sunday.

My name is Kevin Barry McCarthy. And I’m rewatching “Michael Collin” starring Liam Neeson. What a Saturday night.

Nov 26

[video]

Nov 23

My family used to put me on one of these. I can’t imagine that this is still done. I was led around places on a little arm-leash.

In their defense, I was the kind of child that grows up to be my kind of adult. “Late bloomer” is probably the most charitable way to describe my development.

Nov 22

I like when you wear that hat. I find you attractive when I see you in that hat. However, I don’t want you to wear that hat when we are having sex. It would mess up the hat. It is needless ornamentation and it distracts from the task at hand.

I cannot offer you a better analogy. Do not disappoint me by failing to wear a merkin. The fucking nerve.

Nov 18

Tweet sensation

Alright, so my twitter is no longer protected. You can all read it. I created a separate e-mail because I for reals don’t need employers reading my bonkers-ass thoughts.

TWITTER: @aplaceforfacts

E-MAIL: Good guess! It’s aplaceforfacts[@]gmail.com.

I put those brackets in there because other people do. I cannot attest to their necessity. My younger sis joined twitter today and asked to follow me. In good conscience, I had to accept, but I’m going to have to arrange a sit-down where I explain I don’t murder. If you were aware of my tumblarity, you would understand how laughable this gesture is.