December 2010
50 posts
My friend Kevin has been stuck at airports for the...
paulgulyas:
Considering he was an unhappy person to begin with, his descent into madness will be that much more captivating! Follow his adventure here.
All this pressure now. I was trying to remain positive. Relatively speaking. I planning on killing myself shortly after New Year’s. But I guess now I have to live-tweet a breakdown.
“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the...”
– Ram Dass (via heartmindspirit)
Ram Dass is a gay name.
Going to chat up some New England ladies this week
OH THERE WAS AN ARTICLE RECENTLY? YOU HAVE PIQUED MY INTEREST. CONTINUE AND I WILL MAKE EYE CONTACT.
“On April 18, Jason Heyward arrived at home plate with two outs in the ninth and...”
– Jayson Stark’s Strange But True Hitting Moments 2010
MURDERSTICK. GONNA BE IN FULL EFFECT IN 2011.
Day 14: My earliest memory
I was about 3. No shirt, no shoes. I’m in a diaper. I wore diapers up through preschool. Don’t act like you’re surprised.
It’s summertime because I’m staring out the screen door into the front yard. My dad won’t put in the glass storm door for months yet. It’s so bright outside that the interior of the living room looks sepia-toned. This is the house I...
Would I love or hate a Spinal Tap theme New Years...
Jury is still out.
Day 13: Somewhere you'd like to move or visit
I’ve wanted to live in New York since I graduated college. I intend to move there eventually. In a few years, probably. Maybe sooner. Although, New York isn’t the same as it was four years ago. People move away or get married. I’m usually happy to leave a bar by 2 a.m.
Still, it’s the only place where I look around and feel victorious. I love that people ignore each other....
The “Dumb & Dumber” soundtrack is...
Day 12: Bullet your whole day
Slept until 11. My body tried to wake up at 8 and I slapped that bitch down.
Ate Honey Nut Cheerios.
Climaxed.
Showered, dressed.
Bought a new laptop battery so I can watch movies on my plane ride home.
Bought my little sister’s Christmas gifts. Every year, each person is assigned just one other person and buys just for them. I like this better because I don’t want a ton of...
Hey guys. In case you missed it, here’s...
Watchbryanwashere:
Well look at that, I was on this shoot and pop up (quite literally) throughout this video. Give it a look, they came out great!
He does pop up! Also, Asian Hipster Gulyas!
Day 11: First 10 shuffle songs on iPod
I used to have a Nano. It was stolen. So, I guess my only iPod is my iPhone. And I think I only have like six gigs of music on there. Old music. I don’t know? Maybe you guys are huge Smash Mouth fans, too. Kind of kidding. I’ll do it off my iTunes instead because I can’t figure out how shuffle on my phone. I hate shuffle. I’m a full album type of guy. Can I live?
Everyone...
Listen to Episode 2 of realtime with realrealsoft! →
realrealsoft:
and cohost aplaceforfacts! It’s pretty sweet. It’s an hour. If I believed in hashtags, these are the ones I would use for it:
collecting money on the internet
the sad tale of andy dick
priapism
swap shops
would you date an actor
people from long island are fucking strange
kevin calls me the c word on air i think
john krasinski gives good directions
tecate
my sister gets...
Day 10: First love and kiss
My first kiss was my first girlfriend. Yes, I’ve had girlfriends. It was at the movies. We went to see “Talented Mr. Ripley.” I might have made her pay for her ticket. I don’t care. She dumped me. Started dating my best friend. He and I are roommates in the valley now. Life is grand. It was a pretty fake relationship. I thought I was in love, I guess. But I have a way of...
Day 09: What I hope my future is like
I guess this is different from imagining what my future would likely be. So OK, I can roll with this.
I have tried the last few years to adopt the “try to understand, not be understood” approach to human interaction. I don’t know if it’s because it’s the mature perspective, or that I’ve just given up on someone understanding me. I’m widely oblivious to my...
A POST FOR FACTS
davidfuternick:
Things I Love About Kev:
1. He’s very funny.
2. He’s smart.
3. He’s a loyal friend.
4. He always makes sure you’re not taking yourself too seriously.
Things I Despise About Kev:
1. He’s a dick.
Love this guy, though. Seriously. I deal in friendships that have a constant undercurrent of mistrust and animosity.
Day 07: Does my Zodiac sign fit me
Give me a fucking break. Yeah, I’ve got a nutsack full of Virgos right now that are keeping my vas deferens especially tidy.
(Day 7 of this)
Day 06: 30 Interesting Facts
1. On the first day of my latest job, they asked me to write down an interesting fact about myself and I couldn’t think of anything.
2. I love to hike. (This is what I chose as my interesting fact for my company’s newsletter.)
3. I haven’t gone hiking since the week before Sally Menke died. But I miss it a lot.
4. I love nature and wildlife. I love animals more than people. I...
realrealsoft:
RealTime with Realrealsoft -...
bryanwashere asked: Will there be a podcast version of your radio program available tomorrow for download?
Day 05: Considered taking your own life
Back in 2008, during a particularly rough patch I started growing a beard. I called it my Depression Beard, and I thought it’d be funny to look back on pictures and think to myself, “Oh, I am smiling but I wanted to be dead.” Then I never really got happy again, and I looked like an asshole. So I killed the facial hair and kept the overriding sense of failure that still grips me...
Day 04: Views on religion
I was raised Catholic. My whole family is Protestant now. They love church so much. They pray that I’ll find God and not go to Hell. I went to College of the Holy Cross. It was as religious as it sounds. My roommates on occasion would ask me questions like, “Mac, how can you just not believe?” I don’t believe. At all.
When I’m desperate, I’ll occasionally be...
Day 03: Views on drugs and alcohol
Thank God for drugs and alcohol. If you get any girl too drunk or high to walk, you can drag her wherever and the sex is the best. I have the biggest “Kids” fetish.
Nah, honestly? I enjoy a quality beer. I enjoy taking the edge off. Sometimes getting hammered is just what the doctor ordered. But you have to be in the right frame of mind. And I’m not always there. Plus, drinking...
Day 02: Where in 10 years
Ashes in an ocean somewhere. Not because it’s romantic, but because if fucking morons are wasting their time in an idiotic cemetery on account of me I’ll be pissed.
In the event that I’m NOT dead, I don’t know. I’m awful at my 20s. I wrung all I had out of this decade a long time ago. I don’t want to stay up late and drink. I really just have no excuse not to....
Day 01: Current relationship status
Fun fact: My Facebook relationship status has never changed. Not once. Even in jest.
I’m single. I think I get more single everyday. I always thought that I would figure women out at some point and like the game would make sense to me. But really the only thing that would bring me closer to the fairer sex at this point is if the Universe suddenly stopped expanding and began to contract.
I...
Have you ever single-handedly parked your car tire...
Exactly. No, you haven’t. So shut up and let the big boys talk.
