Nov26

Monster 6-Year-Old Lays Opponents The F**k Out

[Deadspin]

Nov23
My family used to put me on one of these. I can’t imagine that this is still done. I was led around places on a little arm-leash. In their defense, I was the kind of child that grows up to be my kind of adult. “Late bloomer” is probably the most charitable way to describe my development.

My family used to put me on one of these. I can’t imagine that this is still done. I was led around places on a little arm-leash.

In their defense, I was the kind of child that grows up to be my kind of adult. “Late bloomer” is probably the most charitable way to describe my development.

Nov22
I like when you wear that hat. I find you attractive when I see you in that hat. However, I don’t want you to wear that hat when we are having sex. It would mess up the hat. It is needless ornamentation and it distracts from the task at hand. I cannot offer you a better analogy. Do not disappoint me by failing to wear a merkin. The fucking nerve.

I like when you wear that hat. I find you attractive when I see you in that hat. However, I don’t want you to wear that hat when we are having sex. It would mess up the hat. It is needless ornamentation and it distracts from the task at hand.

I cannot offer you a better analogy. Do not disappoint me by failing to wear a merkin. The fucking nerve.

Nov18

Tweet sensation

1 week ago

Alright, so my twitter is no longer protected. You can all read it. I created a separate e-mail because I for reals don’t need employers reading my bonkers-ass thoughts.

TWITTER: @aplaceforfacts

E-MAIL: Good guess! It’s aplaceforfacts[@]gmail.com.

I put those brackets in there because other people do. I cannot attest to their necessity. My younger sis joined twitter today and asked to follow me. In good conscience, I had to accept, but I’m going to have to arrange a sit-down where I explain I don’t murder. If you were aware of my tumblarity, you would understand how laughable this gesture is.

Nov17

I went to bed at 9 last night, folks

1 week ago

I had this dream where I was trying to draw a comic at the foot of my childhood bed. And my ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend were sitting up at the other end. They were snickering at me and I fucked up shading so I tried to turn it into a curtain. So there was a curtain in my comic for no reason and I was humiliated.

This is a pretty standard-esque dream that I will have any given night.

Nov16
6od: FACT. This is exactly 140 characters. I begrudgingly removed the H from “with.” This is the closest I’ll get to Inside the Actors Studio.

6od:

FACT.

This is exactly 140 characters. I begrudgingly removed the H from “with.”

This is the closest I’ll get to Inside the Actors Studio.

Nov15

Ideal love-making attire:

  1. Senor Frogs neon green t-shirt (tucked)
  2. Khaki cargo shorts
  3. Crocks
Nov14
Nov10

Highlight of the weekend

2 weeks ago

All the groomsmen meet at the groom’s childhood home before the wedding and Jorge tries to act natural when the Best Man confides in him that Disturbed is a great band.

Nov1
Killed my beard. This is my best attempt at a Paul Gulyas-style self-portrait. Note how the smirk and iPhone figure prominently. Also: The dirty mirror bonus.

Killed my beard. This is my best attempt at a Paul Gulyas-style self-portrait. Note how the smirk and iPhone figure prominently.

Also: The dirty mirror bonus.